In my last reflection I talked about Henri Nouwen’s metaphor of us being a human canvas layered with paint—our authentic selves buried beneath societal expectations, fears, and a reluctance to confront discomfort. Among these “uncomfortable” truths lies pain, which our culture often encourages us to hide.
Yet, pain—whether physical, emotional, or spiritual—is an inescapable part of being human, and it holds profound potential for healing and transformation when surrendered to God. How can we begin to see pain not as something to avoid, but as a guide toward growth and renewal?
The Hidden Weight of Pain
Pain’s impact is not isolated; its ripples touch those closest to us, especially our loved ones. Our loved ones can and hopefully often do walk beside us offering encouragement and empathy. While this is helpful, the reality is, the work of carrying our crosses is an intimate journey—one that lies between us and God.
In a culture that glorifies comfort and escape, we are tempted to distract ourselves from the weight of our crosses. Addiction, denial, or other coping mechanisms may provide temporary reprieve, yet they ultimately distance us from our authentic selves and from God’s transformative grace.
I give up my thoughts and I accept what I feel, I bear it, I live it, and I offer it to God. I call to Him in my feelings so He can heal them. —Mother Siluana
At any given time, our crosses can be different sizes, yet they may still feel like they weigh the same. The weight of the cross—constant in its presence—may remain, but what Mother Siluana so beautifully tells us is that surrendering this weight to God invites transformation. In giving our pain to Him, it is reshaped—not erased—into a means for healing and renewal, making the burden feel lighter in His embrace.
Embracing Pain through the Cross
Christ’s journey to the Cross offers the ultimate example of embracing pain. As St. Athanasios reflected:
Even on the cross He did not hide Himself from sight; rather, He made all creation witness to the presence of its Maker. —St Athanasios
Christ did not avoid His suffering; He accepted it fully, knowing its purpose was rooted in God’s ultimate love and will. His example calls us to see our own crosses not as punishments, but as opportunities to trust in God’s redemptive plan.
Let’s say I got sick and something hurts. I accept that pain, I bless it, and I pray—that is, I give pain to God. But I don’t say: "Lord, take away my pain because I can’t think anymore with this headache!" No, we say, "Lord, come into my pain, help me live it, help me hear its message!" —Mother Siluana
This perspective that Mother Siluana offers challenges me personally, as I often find myself in moments of panic, pleading with God to remove my pain. Mother Siluana’s wisdom reminds me to transform these tears into prayers that invite Christ into my suffering. By doing so, I allow pain to become a teacher—a messenger pointing to areas that need healing and growth. Mother Siluana asks “What does this pain want to tell me?” inviting a deep reflection and encouraging a heart open to God’s voice.
Pain, when approached with prayer and honesty, can become a compass guiding us toward wholeness. It is not merely a burden to avoid but a profound mystery to embrace.
When faced with pain, we are presented with a choice: to harden our hearts or to embrace the mystery of the Cross. When united with God’s will, our wounds become sacred spaces where He can dwell.
Embracing Our Crosses
In bearing our pain and offering it to God, we participate in a profound act of faith. We trust not only that He is present in our suffering, but that He is actively working through it to bring healing, sanctification, and growth.
The next time we encounter pain may we pause before resisting or avoiding it. Let us pray instead, “Lord, come into my pain. Help me live it, help me hear its message.” Through this act of surrender, pain is no longer a mere burden but a blessing, drawing us closer to the heart of God.
With Love in Christ,
Maria
Originally published in the Holy Apostles E-bulletin. Subscribe here.
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